Co-parenting & Dating

9 Mar


My oldest son, Jacob, is from my first marriage. I have worked very hard to co-parent with his dad. It has been a long road, and most of the time his Dad sees things in black and white while I see the world in technicolor. Usually, we clash. However, I do believe that he loves Jacob.

My ex has had a parade of women since we divorced five years ago. Almost all of these women have met Jacob. Jacob has only met two of my boyfriends, both serious and long term relationships. I shelter him from my private life until I know where things are going. I believe that it is best to not include a child into a parents dating affairs until things are serious…and by serious, I don’t mean sex. I am talking about commitment. When you start to see yourself with this person for a long-term, it’s time to introduce them to your child.

I wonder about the long term consequences for a little boy that looks up to their parents for guidance. He sees break-up after break-up. How could he be expected to value relationships? How can a child respect love if they think that it is fleeting? Isn’t it our responsibility to instill hope for a life long commitment to someone?

I am getting married in April, 2014. My son is beyond excited. He only remembers me with my fiance. I hope that I have provided him with a good example of what a solid relationship can be.

So, to all the single parents out there, do you introduce your child to each of your dates? When do you decide to make the leap of including your child in the relationship?


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